In which every man is an island
March 20, 2012On Monday morning, an elderly man put on his windbreaker, got into his car, and drove around the perimeter of the harbor and its many marinas. When he got to the last parking lot by the beach, he pulled his car into a spot. I wasn’t there, but I’m guessing he took a minute to watch the waves crashing over the breakwater. Maybe he was thinking about his own boat, which he’d just sold for a pittance. I don’t know what he was thinking, but it spurred him to pull out a gun and put a bullet through his brain.
He was my dock neighbor for years, and although I did not know him well, we bonded over the fact that he grew up in the same tiny town in Rhode Island where my grandmother was reared. Cap’t. Ron. That’s what we called him. He was a Vietnam vet, I believe a fighter pilot. And now, he is gone. In the wink of sunlight on the sea, a shot can ring out and rob someone of his life. There is no reason to it.
The news came while I had some out-of-town friends here, dear friends who understood my inability to get out of bed, and busied themselves like bees, and then settled in to gab with me. My love for these people is boundless, and I wish we lived closer.
In other news, I had a PET/CT scan today, which I slept through. Results in a couple of days. It will help me make a decision about what to do next.
Some people are saying, “What if this is the chemo that finally does the trick?” and oh, isn’t that a nasty little game to play. I think I’m going to need some pretty damn good odds before I jump into anything else that promises a lot of nausea, hair loss and other horrible side effects that I would, of course, get. I got pretty much every side effect possible, no matter the medicine. My hair has come back, but the texture is hard and frizzy. It’s unruly. It doesn’t matter what products I use — my hair screams “witch.” And anyway, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not photographed a lot, I never go anywhere, and I’m not dating.
The hair could look like anything. It might as well all fall out. If the odds are any good, I’ll try the chemo. I don’t know. We shall see. Right now, I’m going to lie in my cloud bed and doze until this cold goes away.
I hope today holds at least one moment of magic for you.
Also, today’s my brother’s birthday. (I have not shared this blog with him, and prefer not to.) He’s a great support to me, and a great person. I don’t know what I’d do without him.
I’m so sorry about your neighbor. I wish the inscrutable cosmos would back the fuck up out of your grill.
Thanks, sugar. It is a mysterious time, indeed. Xo
Wow it seems spooky weird to lose two marina mates in such a short time. What do the Tarot cards say? I am glad you and the girls had a nice visit and I hope E-man had a fun birthday. It looks like California agrees with him.
I hope the Pet scan results are encouraging and you get some clear information to help you decide what’s next. In the meantime, make that witch look work for you … I always thought you had kind of a sexy Rhianna (Stevie Nicks version) thing going. As
It is really weird to lose two prominent members of the dock community so close together. Although Steven was ailing for some time, and Ron was not doing very well, health-wise, either. I haven’t done a reading in a while — I am overdue.
The bro seems to be enjoying California a lot! It’s great to have him out here.
xxoo. Love that “Snake Charmer” shirt.
Is that not the best?
Arrrrg… I learned about Ron a few days ago. I didn’t know him… but even not knowing him, it really affects all and the marina. So so sad…
Sending the best of wishes for the petscan….
Great pic of your brother “Dole”. And I agree with Sue… I think California agrees with him…
See you soon..(this weekend?) Love you! xoxoxo
Love you, too! I’ll keep you posted about the scan. I won’t know anything until I meet with my doctor next week.
About three weeks ago one of my friends did the same thing Ron did. I still don’t know why. And I guess I have no right to that information. Each of us sail our own boat and choose our own final port.
With Love,
LT
It’s true, LT. We can speculate, but never really know. And that just has to be ok. It’s not for us to know.
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor. All I can do is send you love.
I’m so glad you’ve got your brother to lean on. He looks like Good People — and his snake charmer shirt is cracking me up. xoxox
Snake Charmer! I think he found that at a thrift store. It’s pretty great.
And thanks for the love. Xoxo
Is it weird to say that your brother is cute? Also, I love his shirt. That part is certainly not weird. … Right??
None of it is weird! People tell me he’s cute all the time. Mostly girls. But no, that’s not weird.
xoxo
Your hair will eventually return to normal. I know this from working with two women in my last real job who both went through cancer treatments. Both times their hair initially grew back all rough and weirdly wavy, but turned out OK.
Your brother is HAWT!
I’m cooking a steak later in your honour.
Steak!!! I’m so happy for you. Oddly. But you know how I am.
My brother thanks you. In theory.
wishing you more than one magical moment today and beyond…. xoxo
Thank you, Dan! And also with you!
That is so very sad about your neighbor. Hmmm. Also, I like your brother, and I have heard the same thing about hair. So there’s my input. xxx
Thank you, rg. I guess we shall just see how this hair thing goes!
I agree with all claims of your brothers hotness! His shirt, plus his smile, adds to his overall hotness. Wowee. I need a fan…. ok, refocusing.
On to you: I wish you as much comfort and peace of mind as is possible right now. I’m so sorry about your neighbor! Your cloud bed sounds very inviting and I wish I was there to hang out on it.
I wish you could, too. The Muppets came out on DVD on the 20th, and I want to watch it!
I know! I pre-ordered
my boyo is refusing to watch it AGAIN! Am I a man or a Muppet is brilliant!
It’s okay that I DON’T think your brother is cute, right?
I am having a harder time putting the rest of my thoughts into words. I think you are in a tough, tough place right now and I send you tons and tons of love. xo xo.
It IS ok. Do not worry.
I will take this love. Thank you for sending it. I hope you are well and I miss you and love you one million. Xoxo
I should clarify that he’s certainly not unattractive, I just personally do not think of him as hot, hawt, or HAWT.
I really don’t require you to. I also don’t really need to know that you feel that way.
I mentioned him because it was his birthday, and posted a picture accordingly. Nowhere was there a Rate Violet’s Brother requirement. If people want to say he’s hot, that’s their prerogative. There is absolutely no requirement for you to be attracted to him. I just maybe don’t need to hear about it specifically.
Wow…this has been a hellava rough go for you. Love…love…love to you, Kong and that cute bro of yours.
. Also…my hair was whacked too but eventually sorted itself out.
Don’t know what’s happening with mine. It’s just ugly.
Hard, frizzy, and no products help. Hmmm, sounds like time for a wet-set. A vintage finger wave or pin curl set would be ideal, but someone would have to do that for you to angle the comb correctly. A roller-set would smooth it out and give you volume. You will need setting-lotion, not gel, but the real deal: Lottabody or Proclaim work real well. Rat-tail combs also work best to part and smooth as you roll. Would your brother run to Sally’s or the drug store for you? Try sponge rollers that you can sleep on, or go to a beauty salon for magnetic. Both have snap-ons these days, so you don’t need clips. If you go to a salon, you can blog, read, or snooze under the big hair-dryer. If you do it yourself, try rolling the top back and the sides horizontally, sections the same size as the roller. Do the back however you can reach.
Make sure it’s all the way dry before taking the rollers out then brush it thoroughly with a soft-bristle brush like a Mason Pierson. Too much oomph? Pull it back. Your hair will feel thicker and smoother, and you’ll have waves instead of friz. Got a beauty school near you? 
Sending my love and hope to chat soon. xoxo